Posts Tagged With: Marriage

7 Quick Takes Friday: Vol 9

-1-

So beautiful…

After 2 weeks of being gluten free….I still feel like garbage. Last week was a particularly horrible. I could barely get out of bed in the morning, my arms and legs were in various levels of pain constantly, and my energy level was 0. Giving up gluten hadn’t done me one bit of good. Last Thursday, I told Scott I’d had it, and there was no point in continuing on when I wasn’t getting a bit better. Then, I sat down and ate some crackers. They were amazing.

-2-

Now that that’s over, I’m looking into some other options. Unfortunately, if said options work out, I may receive a diagnosis of hipster. I really don’t want that. More details on that later.

-3-

Sunday was St. Joseph’s Women’s Club’s 90th annual Thanksgiving dinner! It was just tremendous. Over the course of 4 days of cooking, 600 pounds of turkey were stuffed, cooked, sliced and boned and the bones boiled down for gravy, a flipping TON of potatoes were peeled and sliced by hand, and the people of the parish brought in over 300 pies! Now, much to my disappointment, the majority of these pies were store bought! Oh well, it was still a fantastic dinner. So much work goes into planning, preparing and cleaning up–and it’s been done the same way for just about the whole of the last 90 years. This was my first year to help out, and I’m looking forward to many, many, more.

One of the ladies that has been helping out since 1950, Margaret, had a nasty fall a few months ago. For, gosh, who knows how many years, she’s made potato soup for the workers on the day before the dinner. While she was recovering nicely, there was some concern over whether or not she would be able to participate this year. Thankfully, Margaret was able to make it to the church to walk some of the ladies through making the soup.

What does 90 years of tradition get you?

I’m salivating just looking at that picture! Just for the record, that is the BEST turkey gravy EVER!!!

4-

I am horribly saddened by the conflict in Israel. We must continue to pray for peace.

-5-

I know what you’ve been thinking: “Why aren’t there any really good, zany, Catholic reality TV shows?” Here come the Fulwiler’s to the rescue!

I just cannot wait. I think the title could be better. Something like “Of Converts and Scorpions” or “The Archdiocese of Arachnids” would certainly fit the bill.

-6-

Scott has been working the night shift for about 6 months now. Before we were married, I lived by myself for 5 years. For some reason, at the age of 30, after thousands of nights alone, I am suddenly terrified to go to bed by myself. I lay awake, clutching my teddy bear, hoping Scott will surprise me by coming home early. He never does.

What’s terrifying me? I lay there and convince myself there’s someone in the house. Suddenly, bits of horrible horror movies go racing through my head. I don’t know what’s got me so scared.

Penny Lane, my eldest cat, has abandoned me. She prefers hiding under the bed to looking after Mama. My youngest, Sylvia, has been a furry little angel. I’d probably not sleep a wink if she weren’t keeping watch all night.

Don’t worry, Mama! I’m keeping guard!

I hope I snap out of this soon. Sylvia deserves a break.

-7-

Does anyone else wish they were making a pilgrimage during the Year of Faith? I hadn’t thought of it until I saw the handy pilgrim kits the Holy See is handing out to pilgrims. Now I want to go!

The Fulwilers are on pilgrimage to a monastery this week! How exciting that must be! Head on over to Conversion Diary for more info and more quick takes!

Advertisements
Categories: 7 Quick Takes Friday, Everything Else | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

7 Quick Takes Friday: Vol 7

-1-

I am officially a farmer! I harvested my first crop of spinach, and doesn’t it look delish? I actually planted a mesclun mix, but the spinach grew so high, so fast, and so thick that it blotted out the sun for the rest of the greens. I was so excited about a week of garden fresh veggies…and then it turned out to be just enough for each of us to have one helping of creamed spinach. Oh well, we can always grow more. It was wonderful!

-2-

After reading about Death by Bread at The Holy Terra, I decided to try a gluten free week to see if my numbness and pain would go away. I started Wednesday, so it’s not like I’ve actually gotten anywhere yet, but sheesh! Gluten intolerance is expensive! There was a teeny, tiny section at Walmart with gluten free items, and then we went to Natural Grocers, and of course, they had tons of stuff. For a price. I’ll go into more detail in another post. It’s been…interesting. If nothing else, this week should show me some empathy for those who live with food allergies/intolerance.

-3-

Scott and I are quickly approaching our 5 year anniversary! How exciting! We still don’t know how we’re going to celebrate. We’ll probably do dinner and a movie because we’re too lazy to get creative. Anyone have any movie recommendations?

4-

Did you know I have a sister site? Literally! I know what you’re thinking, Patron Saint of Lack of Commitment? Patron Saint of Phobias, ADD, and Hypochondria? Nope, it’s The Variant Purist. It’s my sister’s semi-Catholic blog. What’s semi-Catholic? Let’s just say she’s more indecisive than I am. Betsy is currently attending RCIA and still uncertain about joining the church. Please pray for her on her journey. For lack of a better picture, and because my anniversary is coming up, enjoy this picture of the two of us at my wedding:

I’m the one in white.

-5-

I’ve started a new fitness routine, and it’s highly controversial. I call it Rosary Yoga. The numbness in my arms and legs has slowly turned into searing pain. I’m still awaiting a diagnosis, but there aren’t a whole heck of a lot of things it could be at this point. In just about any of the possible outcomes, yoga is recommended to strengthen muscles, alleviate pain and maintain balance. Literal balance, not mental. I’m literally trying not to fall over. Anyhoo. Yoga happens to be very controversial and there are very good reasons for it. However, it just so happens to be the best solution for me right now. So, I invented Rosary Yoga. I throw in my rosary meditation CD and hold each pose for 2 Hail Marys. I think it’s positively genius, and will start a new Rosary Yoga movement. Or people will just whisper about how crazy I am. Like that’s anything new.

-6-

Speaking of controversial, I have a few issues with Halloween, however, the biggest one is that I just don’t care about it anymore so I usually don’t get any further than that. That’s especially sad considering the fact that Scott and I had our first date on Halloween, 7 years ago! Oh well. I would discuss my Halloween issues further, but there’s the whole “don’t care” thing. I look forward to All Saint’s Day and I’ll let Dr. Taylor Marshall tell you all about Halloween. Wonderful article. I read the whole thing, even though I don’t care. He’s that good.

-7-

Who else is ready for Advent? I’m still hoping to get all of my Christmas shopping done early so I can enjoy Advent for what it is instead of stressing out. My husband’s family is quite large, so we’ve been debating on just drawing names so we can pare down the number of gifts to worry about. It just seems like every year, I want to have a peaceful, meaningful Advent, but I always get sucked into the gift-buying mayhem. Maybe this year?

For Thanksgiving, I’m seriously considering freezing as many dishes as I can ahead of time so they can be easily prepared the day of. I don’t even know where we’re having Thanksgiving (large family and all that), but it couldn’t hurt to be prepared!

That was really weird, right? One minute we’re talking about me eating spinach out of the backyard, the next it’s Halloween and Yoga-but-it’s-okay-I-did-the-rosary-with-it. Then outta nowhere, I’m like, Merry Christmas!

Good grief. Check out Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes and hopefully fewer shenanigans.

One more thing. I think it’s worth noting that I spelled shenanigans right on the first try.

Categories: 7 Quick Takes Friday, Everything Else | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Being a Wife: Sometimes You Don’t Have to be “Right”

About 6 years ago or so, Scott and I went to a bridal shower. It was supposed to be men and women but, as these things usually turn out, there were mostly women at the event. Come to think of it, the groom-to-be wasn’t even there. The hostess’s boyfriend was present, and he and Scott hid in the corner for most of the event. I sat on the couch, wishing I could hide in the corner, too.

Most of the ladies in attendance were single or divorced, which made the “advice” game a bit idiotic interesting. It wasn’t really a game, per say, but everyone anonymously wrote down a piece of marriage advice on a little card, placed it in a basket, and the bride-to-be read all the advice aloud. I smiled to myself when I wrote down my advice. Scott and I weren’t married yet, and we’d only been dating for about a year, but I’d already learned a lot about the impact of the little things. “Surprise him with a romantic dinner…especially if you’ve been fighting!”

After Scott and I had our first argument, I was horribly upset. I hated the tension it put between us, and I wanted to take an eraser to that fight so we could be happy again. My previous relationships never made it past the first fight, and I just knew this one wouldn’t either. We’d only been together a few months at that point, but I couldn’t bear to lose the happiness we had together. After the fight was settled, the tension still hung in the air between us. I needed to make a gesture, take him on a romantic date–something! But I didn’t have any money to do anything.

So, I invited him over after work. I lit candles. I made Hamburger Helper. Hey, it’s what I had! He was probably dreading coming over to see me after our fight, but when he walked in and saw the candles, the dinner, and me in my fanciest dress, all of the tension was gone. I felt the anxiety melt away as we sat down together, happy again, no longer worried about that stupid fight. It was perfect.

I was confident when I put my advice card in the basket that it was a gem. Let’s just say I was the only one who thought so.

I don’t remember the exact advice on the other cards, but I remember the gist of it. “Tell him to do as you say. You are the boss.” When my advice was read aloud, it was ridiculed. “Who wrote that down?!?!” someone shouted. “Yeah right! Have him cook for you! I’m not cooking for my husband! Especially when we’ve been fighting!” The general consensus was that he’s always wrong, you’re always right, and make sure you get your way. Or else! And make sure he knows you’re not his maid and you’re not his cook!

It’s in our human nature to be selfish, to want to be dominant. When I look around at failed relationships, the most common themes I see are a complete lack of willingness to do anything for the other person, and an unshakable determination to be right and have your own way. How can we say we love someone with all our hearts, forever, but refuse to do anything in the relationship? How can we be so unyielding and so domineering that we put being right and having our way in front of our relationships? Just making a gesture to show your love doesn’t make you a slave, and neither does letting the person you love have their way.

Just ask Scott: I like to have my way and I like being right. We can’t drive to the grocery store without me correcting him on which lane to get into and when to change lanes. Doing laundry is a challenge because clothes have to be folded the right way–aka my way. And I cannot tell you how hard it is to hold back from going into gross detail as to why you have to get into a certain lane at a certain time and why shirts should be folded a certain way.

The last few months, I haven’t been feeling like myself. I’ve been back and forth to the doctor, poked, prodded and scanned, and there’s still more to come. I don’t know if it’s just from anxiety, but my energy level is zero. I feel exhausted constantly, and I’ve fallen behind on the housework. Without complaining or waiting to be asked, Scott started doing the laundry. He’s even made an effort to fold things the way I like them to be folded. He hasn’t mastered it by any means, but he’s put forth a real effort. It’s the little things, after all, that make you feel loved and protected.

I recently started following Hallie Lord, aka Moxie Wife on Facebook, and she’s been doing a marriage challenge with a different task for each day. Here are a few samples:

Happy Sunday, pretty ladies! I just love today’s marriage challenge! Are you ready for it? Simply “leave him a sweet note.” What fun!

Tomorrow’s task is another sweet one, my fellow marriage challenge participants! “Kiss your husband the first time you see him in the morning.” Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. 😉

Sounds easy, you say? Brace yourself for the toughie:

Oh, girls. We should probably start praying for one another right now. Tomorrow’s marriage challenge? “Go a whole day without correcting your husband.” Good luck! 😉

Now, I just started following, so I haven’t been doing the challenge….yet. When I saw that last one, I knew immediately that I needed to follow along, even if I’m a few weeks behind. Somewhere along the line, I turned into the stereotypical nagging wife and left the eager to please, young girlfriend behind in the dust. In a way, our relationship has matured. I’m far more willing to stand up to Scott than I was back then, and if something he does bothers me, I need to let him know–to a point! But while I’m just as likely to admit fault when I do something to hurt him, I’m less likely to make a romantic gesture in an attempt to erase the hurt. At some point, I allowed my want to control things get in the way of making his happiness my priority. Is our marriage failing? Absolutely not. But I do everything I can to make sure Scott knows at every turn that he is loved and the he is my top priority? No, I’m afraid not.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it behoveth in the Lord. –Colossians 3:18

Probably the most hated verse in the Bible. However, you have to keep in mind:

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter towards them. –Colossians 3:19

It’s about serving and loving each other to build each other up, not trying to beat each other into shape. It’s easy to forget that in our me-me-me culture. But we’re supposed to be separate from the culture. I’m not talking about any radical changes, just making an effort to do a little something for him every day, to put his needs before mine.  I think it’s time for a 30 day challenge; to make myself a little sweeter, and maybe rediscover the woman who cared more about being in love than being right.

Categories: Everything Else, Marriage, On a personal note... | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

7 Quick Takes Friday: Vol 3

-1-

I’m thinking about renaming my blog. Nothing I write ever lives up to the awesomeness of that title. Then I realize I can never pick a name. Or a theme. And I’m barely hanging on by a thread here anyways. That’s when I remember why I chose the name and decide it’s perfect.

-2-

I get to have a brain scan on Wednesday! Woo-hoo! Wait, I’m horrified of small spaces. Great. I’ve been to the doctor a few times about my leg going numb. Blood tests and X-Rays were not revealing, so next up, MRI. I’m very anxious about it. But you know, I swam in the ocean and didn’t freak out. I just want to make it clear: I’m not in any way trying to conquer my fears, here! I’m not that kinda gal. If I’m afraid of something, I want to just stay the truck away from it!

Oh, and regardless of what the MRI shows, it’s very likely that the next step will very probably be a spinal tap. Which I’ve had before. It’s not painful. It’s just a little horrifying to keep as still as humanly possible because ohgoodheavensifyousomuchascoughtheGIANTNEEDLEINYOURSPINEWILLPARALYZEYOU!!!!!!

Face your fears, eh? Who in their right mind thinks that’s a great idea? Why don’t I just lay down in a tub full of spiders?

-3-

My Mother-in-Law is going back to Saudi Arabia today. It seems like just a few days ago I went to pick her up at the airport. My In-Laws have been living in Saudi Arabia for 3.5 years now and we miss them terribly when they’re not here. She and I have been hatching a plan for Scott and I to go visit them in Saudi sometime next year. Talk. About. An. Adventure! I sure hope we can work it out! They don’t live too far from a beach. For all my lifelong fears of the ocean, I’ve been aching to get back in!

-4-

I planted a fall vegetable garden this week. I haven’t had a veggie garden in 4 years, and I’ve been dying to get back into it. I decided to do the square foot gardening method. I have cabbages, radishes, all sorts of lettuce, carrots and spinach in the ground. To keep birds out, I bought a 7$ decorative scarecrow from WalMart that I’m going to put out. I’ll bet it works!

-5-

After an argument about grocery shopping at WalMart vs. Target, I stepped in to declare that I purchase all my groceries at Aldi and buy only non-grocery items at Walmart. Good food doesn’t need a brand name, right? And of course I use only earth-friendly reusable canvas bags. Suddenly, I had a severe panic attach because I thought I might actually be a hipster. Then I realized, with some relief, that since I purchase a fair amount of my clothes at WalMart, I am indeed not a hipster.

-6-

Actual risque picture I sent Scott. Don’t worry, we’re married.

Scott and I never talk about anything. We have no communication left in our marriage. Since he’s working nights and I rarely see him, all we ever do when we’re together is snuggle. Our words for each other consist of “I love you!” and “Move closer so I can snuggle you!” I like to think that since our time together is short, we’re taking care of what’s important and cutting out the rest.

Everyone else must think we’re falling apart. Scott has no idea what’s going on with my doctor’s appointments, with work, and I couldn’t tell you a thing he did this week. We tend to find out that kind of stuff from….everyone else. While they give us odd looks like, “How do you not know this? Your marriage is falling apart!” Eh, whatever. I’d rather have cuddle time than talk time.

-7-

40 Days for Life started Wednesday! I haven’t made it out to the clinic yet, but if you have a chance, stop by and offer a rosary. It can be a little scary–what if someone comes over to talk to me? But if someone does, pray that God will speak through you! Trust in Him!

And as always, better and brighter Quick Takes are available at Conversion Diary!

Categories: 7 Quick Takes Friday, Everything Else | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.